fizzled out

was the last thing on my mind, it felt like it should have been fired up! you know: the works all done by everyone else, $20 to set up a website, $50 for an editor, $25 for ideas, $5 for the cheer squad, $12 for the ice maidens to remind that the world can still be cold. a little heat perhaps? but the ice inside does not melt, $500 for more heat, no can do/find out why it is not working because the end game is to sit at the top with nothing to do, just leisure, or boredom, when quests have no more fuel. not the kind that demands a bark, a bite, a scrawl that over time becomes a little legible, looks like i first got to know my A B C. felt good, felt more than good actually, A B C D E F. there! i did it, and it was me, i did it, not the crowd, not the rats scraping for pieces, so very worthless but not to them. isn't that everything? that whole perception attitude, framework: cracked. smashed, to many pieces, i try to gather the pieces and it means nothing. you see, it's all done already, this puzzle, no longer a participant, just an observer unable to measure worth. a million dollars for a wink, a penny to hold the sky. that's money talk for you, worth, pah, over-rated said the scholar turned muser. and as for idleness and endeavors, over time they began to merge, to become indistinguishable, a spark of fiery ambition - dulled, blunt, rusty when measurement became meaningless. pointless, irrelevant, a land of fantasies unable to find a core, settles down, dissipates, flees and then even the scholar was forgotten, only a barren land with once hot coals fizzled out.