only time will tell

of shades looking for a way out, when a crass joke became the focal point and a verdict was made, the wrong one, heads still rolled. of voids that were never empty, the voices simply kept silent for speeches made no change, then the mouths sealed up: it's better this way. of screams still echoing in my ears, but good folks do not like to be told they're wrong, you see they stop looking good, so much for goodness. of meaningless gestures that came cheap, as if acknowledgement meant payment, sounds more like daylight robbery. of bruises, harm, spite spat on the face, the dry weather covered it all up and a merry man realized he rather the world smiled back than give pity. of should be as told from the crib, if life were ideal, if things actually worked the way they should, how invested should? should gets derailed each day, and no one blinks. of goals squashed, put aside because the boss said no, the interviewers said no, there's no appeal board here even if one was the best for the organization. i guess that can be debated, since the boss and interview panel make up the organization ... ... of days turning to months, months to years of maybe, might be, eventually they become stamped as what actually took place. and we look at history, never seeing how it all could have been so very different. we take it as if that was the only way it could have happened because humans have always been so very practical, our musings, our fantasies, our what if have simply died away as childish notions. poof, and maybe that is why heaven and hell scratch at our awareness, even non believers believe in something! and time eventually stops, what then? a life lived to what ends? the epitaphs, the historian writes, none of that means anything really, when the dead no longer are touched, feel, get a promotion from earthly writings. what then? an identity forged, a soul made from the many choices in life - the non believers say god is not real, but if god is real, denying him does not make god go away ... ... what then? i suppose the same can be written of a godless world where people make god up: he would still be non existant. what then? humans choose to live a life humans choose how to live a life humans choose what priorities life has humans choose and in choosing, i've always seen both a little hell, a little heaven. have you seen it too?