transmute

dizzy awareness, salivate for a drop of nectar - just out of reach. hanging over your head, reach back, a little backwards, try to grasp a yearning, a longing, a tide cascading, a waterfall, rushing headlong into dangerous crevices, sharp, untouched, unharmed, water continues to flow, to erode, sediments stir away, become cloudy, heady dizziness longing for nectar. still out of reach, i am not water, cascading downhill, adapting, flowing tight, constrained, like crevices being eroded - nectar burns. like acid, dipping in more drooping, hanging by a thread, backwards a little more, sweetness transforms to feral faces, jaws elongated, venus plant and i am a fruit fly. backward into darkness: heavy curtains suffocate, shrinking, life flows downwards, spiraling into chasms a mind surrendering to an avalanche of nectar no longer sweet. too much. still hungry, becoming diabetic, then sudden faintness comes along - cascading down into hearts beating strongly. self loathing, reprisals, smack, to try and wake up from lucid dreams gone mad. feral animals picking bones, is it over yet? pain, awareness or lack of: pinching my skin, this is not a dream! cascade upbound into steps, uphill climb, bitter caustic nerves - what a hideous trap. then level ground is reached, old faithful, sturdy water moving about sloshes, waves, pounding on a vacant house - flows right through the gaps, life, energy, sparkles, twilight spills into morning. open the night to hot burning sun eager to tell, when earth becomes quiet, hear, hear the heartbeat. lub dub, lub dub, there there - i can hear it now, as the sun pours out a brightness so startling i must shut my eyes, and still the waves, the pounding continues, till the house is filled with water taking in the sun, moving, reflecting, alive, showing of worlds i never knew. it was not nectar, something deeper, goes past flesh, into that big heart of a star: i know, i hear, i witness when strength had left me, pulled me out of inconsistency, doubt, weakness for fire ignites, transforms, transmutes. this burning path so unlike that backwards tic, tic, tic - ancient calls, ancient surfaces to meet the eye dressed in wonder. spell shocked. gap, gap, gap away into crevices hiding water resurfacing, as redemption from above. fire forges a path in water, in the house called home, there many doors opened, paths visible when dirt got swept out by cascading water, bending, rushing, cleaning. sticky nectar, sticky situation, sticky backwards, tic tic - replaced.