Stage

i grazed pleasure, utopia, a good calling today. i dipped into a spiritual crises, when flesh and spirit wrestled. fallen, beaten: the devil came to me as me how do i look?

refraction, reflection and my image took forms like fish and bird, swimming and galloping into blue skies and oceans while worms infested my mind, beckoning for a predator to fulfill destiny as another path crisscrosses with butterflies not wanting

blind obedience turns to questions when the teacher fails to provide, what? said the student whose eyebrows shot up due to feigned ignorance, a plausible answer, vague notions like wind, farting, puff and the cloud becomes acid rain and a mentor is struggling to tread water

they told me i could be reborn into not me. i wanted not me, you see i was never good at anything, tried too hard

innocence, who does not want to be blameless, not the problem or another i told you so, told you to, told you you, you, you and i was once a child, whom adults smiled to, whom teenagers

white slate turned dark, mirror on the wall shatters because mommy lied. and the world is not the beautiful ever after ... ... nor the fiery hell of sinners

import library, Zzzz … not it is this here and now then the characters

How time has flown by and my gray hair says it all of time gone, though when I leaf the pages back just a little, yesterday I was that teenager, yesterday a child who wanted nothing more than more candy and I've seen the train wrecks, I've seen the stories, I've heard the different versions, I've seen the lies,

I saw the veil although the grown ups they deny any such thing, they told me to simply trust and believe because they knew best and of course I wanted nothing more thank to throw myself into their arms, to be safe, to be protected, to not have to make hard decisions, decisions I am conflicted about, they look the other way, they don't want to talk about it,

I am small, an egg, beginning, growing and I think of my future, what future me would look like and I see all these wonderful decorations, for is it not true that I can only see what is perceived and not what is? I will grasp the perception, for