reborn

they told me i could be reborn into not me. i wanted not me, you see i was never good at anything, tried too hard blamed it all on me, like my mother. died. when blaming was all she did, it was easier to confirm a bias that i am wrong, versus the world is wrong we all tried too hard not accepting that things have gone horribly wrong. you see, i am now living a life of a lie, like you if you aren't living the dream and even then. stories are weird i swear. they told me many things i became incredulous. how could it be? how? then i understood the human heart, flesh. beats, beats now doesn't it? wanting to do something, and it did not turn out the way you expected. blame, blame, blame. no one wants to take this slap when saints are dead, better to worship then than to be them. for it adds a touch of glory to align with a side you know no sacrifice. it is easy. no sacrifice and gain a slice if heaven i too want to touch the unreal, i am jaded now having lived too long. too long too long, i regret lives lost. and then i realize i am still licking wounds unhealed. dream of paradise unreal, i lived on that my entire life.