what now?

i was once velvet, soft, placid, you could mold it to any shape or form. fabulous, for you, not so much for me. velvet has no spine, no personality, it is a toy, not much more though you likely saw it as teaching, an education, you know that's what they called war too - soft cuddly bunny, timid, cute, lovable because it does not bite, eats out of you hand, but it dies or lives at the whim of an owner turned predator. it was the first splash of purple, those bruises, red, fiery torment, grovel, fall in line, behave, submit or - and i would never win cause velvet bunnies don't retort, scratch, answer back, hiss, spit, bite. if they do, the knife comes out. tattered velvet, ribbons come undone, i could become that, behave! behave i did while brooding, a smile on my face: it's what you want and i did try other paths, none worked better for me, endure till growls came, a bunny outgrows the body, velvet develops bone, iron, menacing, a monster rabbit that likes meat. you wave a carrot, i grab, no pats on head, you try to return the bunny back from velvet, but the trick fails this time round. you're coming at me, you think i don't see it, i do. you're shadowing, mirroring, becoming my other half. you need me, you say, i don't, i say and the negotiation stalls till you come again from another angle, see it your way, see it my way, huh? it is a foreign word, my way cause I've always been invisible, been an add on, a possession, a tribute, a subsidiary, a side kick - you press on, i hit back, velvet iron no longer tame, no longer mute, no longer deaf, no longer cute you've become me, you tell me, sneering: my other half eh? i saw why i rejected you, we're nothing alike for i do not tear out velvet nor cook little bunnies. but i think you would never understand what that means.