under the influence

of? what? euphoria, melancholy they tug on opposite ends with the puppet obeying each whim. there you go again, and the camel must walk across another stretch of bare land. why? a master, a sitter who gives orders, an unthinking beast simply follows. unthinking? there i go again, blaming the silly animal for having thoughts, chewing away, munching, eager for a drink or so. that's thought. stomach rumbles, it thinks again of food, throat parches, it wants water, are we humans that different? a million spirits to infest a heart, a turncoat! one shouting to another, yes - a shouting match that ends with one getting booted out. black box discovered, nothing remains within, but an echo of yesterday to be repeated today. booted out, the delete mechanism is in process, forensics find it not, erased over many times, like yesterday, lesson already forgotten when regret the teacher must bow down to the rising sun of hope, even if false must be walked again with feet on burning coals, they burn crisp not for lack of stupidity. ouch again, the heart embraces the spirit most like it, hello friend. heaven and hell both yawned, hell never looked so very exquisite, dressed in garments that shone like stars, while humble heaven smelled like piss, dog's piss. little wonder how the math was made, you don't even need to touch the abacus, it's too easy, said the man whose feet is now crisp the bandages do not find themselves useful, another perpetual lie, a garment that resembled the morning star. heavenly indeed. dog's piss awoke the hallucination, the motions of repetition, it's not for everyone, hell indeed. who want's dog's piss? then the stranger became stranger, till heaven and hell both dropped their mask, and from the first and last point, the path meandered out, carved, beckoned towards what is unseen, unheard, unfelt. a point made, when euphoria and melancholy finally laid to rest: then and only then did i hear my heart's first beat.