u-turn

ascend, uplift, reward center in the brain sizzling like fried eggs. should expect, belief hardens then the unexpected breaks the illusion of a spell cast by time. patterns emerge, fine lines invisible appear at the last minute, no need for lemon ink or heat because the awareness is like a candle lit, then the cave, the silhouettes cast with living breathing warmth - terrorizing for they obey not the human shapes seeing shadows free without life blocking light. and life has drank from the sun, the spellcaster mutters in ancient speeches, time begins to roll back: twins emerge as a wrestle for dominance came about. belief, logic, emotions stirring in a cauldron while ancient words splatter - marks etched on a wall where darkness awaits. waiting, patiently for emergence to spill forth when the quest for more was never questioned. pleasure center, ascension to what? the gold layers suffocate the stifled man bemoans with chains within, though the smiles are casually given away to an adoring crowd. it must be good to have more, and he winked. shadows flited, made patterns within the heart beating fiercely, strongly: a home, every etch on the wall, each symbol meaning something only the man understands. descends, withers, the petals fall on dried earth unable to digest - vomits back the life now gone, and still the hands they grasp for heaven, more. but heaven resides not on gold platters, the cave of shadows, mythical symbols breaking walls: reward center isn't the issue. what reward? a cave of many names, a heart depthless, and the golden throne easily seen. it's always obvious until it no longer is, when heaven cries. symbols, myth - they elongate, take shape like shadows free, nothing to create those screaming, piercing, haunting life telling ... ... a gold throne filled. and the price? when hell rages, symbols, myth they find substance, meaning to the creator, the choice made at each turning point. it wasn't the gold that was bad, it wasn't pleasure that was sickening, it wasn't rewards that distracted. depthless heart finally surfaces and the world that fell apart, no longer having an influence on how it should be, could be, must be. a spirit seeing heaven and hell for the first time.