the first and the last

first blank slate, ink drops become words taught by whoever carries the reins breaking or loosened. though belief recreates magnetic pulls no longer attractive. belief is that attraction still enigmatic for it leads without fuel. just a ghost of a steering wheel locked. the disheartened find new roots in soil filled with the unknown - making it enticing. what novelty! then the baseless claims begin to pile up and the judge begins to weary of petitions without cause. dig into the trench of an old wound made by arm bending. acquiesce even when the options are few and put on a smile of have to. not much of a bargaining power when the stakes are hell and heaven with heaven always right - don't even try. to defend - because how can a creation fight the almighty? then heaven bleeds tears i kept in my heart - when the rainbow promise drops acid - first burn promising to scar. but self deception is the best of them all and i met the devil that night not knowing - and belief carried a stride confident: till the last breath made. then did the scar unravel when first became last revealing hidden truths clasped by a mighty tug relinquishing control when her purpose has been fulfilled. then did i see, why first and last were playbooks spoken by the mannequin who too has faded - when memory no longer remembers the creation of idols that looked just like god but first and last never really could replace reality when the reins held tight flickered like a candle flame no longer able to withstand the wind unrelenting. and in the wind i heard her song - it was a song of choice, pain and suffering all dressed up like in halloween i did not recognize friends from fiends and often mistook. unraveled and it was just me, holding strings i thought were gods -