the eternal god

whose presence i seek not, till the world comes crumbling down - then does the faintest of sound break my spell. and what a spell it was! where untold stories sit on my tongue. they burst forth like a supernova with brilliance shrouding my dense mind. how magical, how the enchantment seeped into my layered flesh: a merry go round till the coins ran out - though i never did question the transaction when logic resounded firmly, when convincing tales reached towards the heaven - a myth built with sugar, dust and might. then the heat came, sugar became char - with pillars crashing down. i spoke to char, dust and broken might, they answered not. their glowing pride vanishing with the disappearing coins. feed me, they seemed to say reproachfully. i could not for empty pockets was all i had. then i longed for memories happy, yearned for heaven underneath a putrid sky: a myth whose fascinating tail has become like a dead cat no longer wanting to play. transactional love is just another word for lust - no longer consuming. no longer coy. no longer deceiving. i stared at wires, metallic chunks, scraps, card boxes, spiraling away, tunneling off into this depth breathtaking. an image of utopia sought after, the pictures cascade faster than the currents allow: snap. break till the distortion becomes apparent. i pulled the dead cat's tail: why don't you want to play? then bastet spat, hissed and scratched at my super thin skin already falling off - whereupon i found apophis's mark all over me. blissful darkness, iridescent sparkles sprinkled from the ashes of might, sugar and dust; that makes no logical sense. and how i welcomed the illogical when the heat came down to shatter all my false idols leaving me when i needed them most. bastet reached out playfully to capture a sparkle in the air; that. that is the only value in a castle of dreams. wake up.