pushing it

a cup about to fall off the table, don't tilt: a balancing act with my foot pressing at the corner of a leg, an odd angle to say the least. still, better than not doing anything while the shift begins again and then a slip, a sleight of hand, a cup stays at the edge, just how everyone at the table wants it to be. skin grazing skin, don't stare, let's talk weather when it is only sunshine! another intrusion, another slight tilt though speeches continue on like nothing is amiss. objective facts can get spun either way, a slap on the back, a holding of hands, a hug becoming so very stifling, don't reject me. what? it's that inner dialogue, of what would happen if, so many if's with a safe way out, pretend nothing is amiss, no big deal. but it is, but it is, but it is when lines are crossed, the instigator pretends not to see, not to hear, not to know, how convenient, like an innocent bystander then the cup fell. crashed, cracked. i cracked first, laughing wildly, then the kid too, then the old man, it was all so obvious that everyone was putting up a front, pushing the lines, tilting the scale some in their favor, some will just have to suck it up. no big deal, no big deal, the instigator's do not want to be accused, their come back: you went along with it, we took it that meant consent? never mind that a confrontation would have meant dodging, playing innocent, or going on the offense, pull a fast one, to pull the rug suddenly, you know how it is. *wide stares - i have no idea what you're talk about* that's why people keep their lips tight, you counted on it. the instigator continues to smile, smirk when no one is seeing, then i say - oh ... ... the cup's gone you know, my foot had kicked off the leg when this balancing act has always been a charade, and this shitty act has always been about you. more stares, more laughter from the audience the jokes up: sleight of hand, tilting the scales, under the table, a faulty dice, extra cards beneath your sleevs, non verbal cues to denote an ace, a wink to convey something else, it's never been about the status quo, it's never been about keeping it up, you know fair weather and half filled cups hanging precariously on the edge, it's always been a game gone rogue, it's always been instigators wanting norms, it fits their agenda and everyone else prefers to keep the ride, until the game is halted, until the bluff is called. shall we reenact the scene one more time?