life

contradicts, wrestles, argues back dictates, strongarms, regrets, becomes moody, hurtful, silence, then happiness, maybe not a silver lining echoes of yesterday, today repeats like a circle, loop, endless - so very monotone, boredom, banal ironic, turn a 180, 360, come back to the same direction: with water rushing in the head, slushing, wings unable to flap a spirit drags along on a ride, trying to break free, unable to flesh is strong than - endless life peering from a pinhole all so very topsy turvy like vertigo, flailing about, sinking into deeper, denser, layered realities each arm suffocates, hands pinning down legs trying to kick up, resurface, feels irate a nostalgia passing a next amusement comes up no, not this again. and again. and again shine, a torch, a fire for all to see how dark inside, how dismal, forlorn while merriment paints the face, for show it is always this white washing - i'm better than you breaks in moment of clarity, comes make up air enters the pinhole, significant? loops, cycles, repeats the shell littered with memories, memories within a lot harder to pry apart when life peers out through only one end. ride along, thrashing about, pulled as the driver's seat is firmly held on - engines spittle, tries to gain back control, raspy noise, throttles, zig zags in a straight road and one life - comprehends colors, spits, hues, emotions laid out tidily on skin. filters through, slowly, morphs one life mutates, changes, becomes the choices of many crossroads, gray fogs smoke: made.