i know better

said glutton to my face when asked. why. such feast before me, and they call me a vice - profanity indeed then i solemnly nodded my head while on a sugar rush, the salt made me dizzy, the alcohol wuzzy, fuzzy, dang. i thought. and clutched my old pal lust as i tried to clear my brain, addled felt. right. what towering flowers, what mighty armor as i rode on unicorns with devil's horn eyes grinning, a wicked tongue flicked out and the sky went black. oh jolly i wept, sarcastically to more friends as they came to comfort me you see i was seeing things too much to the left! move here, they said and greed gave a wink. i tried to be in the middle so many friend giving me their 2 cent's worth, and i really did not want to bother them too much, i mean we all shoulder our own problems right? then. i fell into a deep slumber where feast turned to worms, my insides churned and heaved as i tried to puke out those horrid wiggles, ah choooo i sneezed and out came the dizziness, the fuzziness though the scars remained of lust and my other hellish kindreds who knew me so very well. a little nudge, a little whisper, a little compromise and there i was sliding once again from that great eternal blue - into the sickly green still waving, churning, i hate sea sickeness though the bumps, up and down, they felt like an old familiar song of a cradle, a comfort once tasted, now bland. and the middle? i swung to the right, to pride, to lies, to half truths, for sensing is believing for highs give their own versions of truth. till i crashed when the unicorn's horns broke into two! behold, a lucid nightmare where old pals left me high and dry. it's time to part, they said, when i felt my soul lightly touch ground. and it felt nothing like feast, high, drunk, or sweetness, fake love or salt ah yes, i forgot to elaborate: it's always been fake, it's told actually from kindreds who showed me the contract. aye, aye i nodded while blinking. who cares of the end when the fun ride has just begun? bump, bump - land ahead. then spirits faded and the water bled dry. i counted my scars, my deeds, my thoughts, my life for it is clear as day what took place. a lucid dream, a fevered dream a hellish fiend who comes as a fried speaking truth, and truth never saved i said. sweat broke out, as i fought with my other half, kindred spirits called from depths ancient then i called them by their name, each and everyone one - i know you! i see you, i hear you. and feast, merriment, honey, salt and savor cringed under the pressure, when land ahead surfaces from treacherous wanders, hot, livid, scorched from volunteers throwing free will into boiling oil, how it sizzles, burns, eats, munches for feast, merriment, honey, salt and savor lived - as gods, idols, i thought was me. not a puppet played, a heart that is lost, strayed, betrayed and kindred spirits they bide their time, like hungry wolves and the trophy prize: the carrot. wobbled. sizzled. the water bled dry.