Mind

Absolution, objective permanence and there is no other avenues. Is this truth? I beg to differ for there are many paths around this stumbling block and I for one, have already found many loopholes. It all ends up being the same you know, when everything has been done and said, the results do not lie. Winning is everything.

I hate this. I will go with the flow, not make a stink because this is what they want. And who is they? They, it is everyone else, not me. How selfish you may think and you are not me. I play the game because I have to, like you, unlike you I make no pretense at least to myself that I am simply carrying out your fantasies. This is your dream isn't it? And I see you thrown your tantrum when you do not get what you want. For now, you hold the keys. You must really enjoy this.

Information was not there, it was warped, changed and fine prints, lies all came with the bundle. I could not have known, and yet I was so very adamant I was correct. I failed to take the gray into account of what could be and my disdain for how relative things are has become my achille's heel. I charged without full knowledge and of course there is no such thing as full knowledge and maybe that is why regret has become such a common place.

There comes a time when the heap of sand becomes one piece, a rock for the layers and layers upon layers piling on top of still more layers, eventually becomes a norm, a steady force like the ocean that cannot be dispelled. A drop of rain no longer needs to fall, for that fall means nothing now. Too much, it is too much and it is better to cave in. What a deplorable word. I prefer acceptance.

Keeps looping, the loops do not stop and some call this an obsession and I cannot break free. I remember a time when I was making changes, waves even though that appears to be highly frowned upon by those who enjoy the status quo. It meets their objectives. As for me, I want out but the fences are there, spiked with currents, voltages high and even the thought of rebelling has been squashed. I go about the loops because I see no way out.

Tears, more tears and finally the tears do stop and I can see you looking at me finally, seeing that you are no longer fighting, willing to accept that I am only the wind, the pathway is hard as it is and I give practical advice, not dreamy ones, I make do with what has been given, not the what ifs. Follow me even if it means giving up everything you ever cherished. This is life. I am simply being realistic.